'Ain't That America

Folks,

I never really want this place to be a written account of my daily happenings but I must share an experience I had today.

I have been in and out of action this week (the RNC, that is) due the the incredible amount of Strand Union participation in the Anti-Republican battles. As a manager, I pick up the slack where needed (This a good cause. I'm so proud of those guys). I was startled to learn my image was shown on several news broadcasts the evening prior (especially since it was coincidence that I was near some heavy activity). Regardless, I took my break and headed to the square. For lunch hour, Union Square was so quiet it almost hurt and spread across the stairs were combat boots and name cards for fallen troops in the current war against Iraq. It was a moment that dries the saliva in the mouth and forces your hand to the head. For reasons that I will explain later, the tears begain to flow. I grabbed my lunch and found an empty space behind a statue to get my shit together.

I couldn't make myself calm down and it freaked me out that I lost control. Afterall, I am a sensitive person ( I cry everytime I watch Gone With the Wind). I've been working a little too hard (Its cool, man. Nothing I haven't been through before). Military involvement? Well, yeah. Like most of us, many of my closest peeps and family are either in Iraq, have a child in Iraq, or are on their way to Iraq. This reality we've dealt with and deal with together as a nation ran by people that aren't mking these sacrifices. But we deal, together.

Then, it hit me. The emptiness I felt this afternoon can only be realization that this---this horror--- is going to get worse. A deep seated intuitiveness that screams of future pain. I'm not just talking about the Bush Family massacre but the peak of all the shit we've put on the back burner since this country's conception. From the one-armed beggar on the L-Train to the red-necked Republican delegate asshole that told me he could buy and sell my ideals in his sleep, we are all going to pay for all the little mistakes we've made on the way. History has proven that all civilizations adhere to a timeline. America, the big bad land of freedom and democracy is no different than any other empire that learned to write and use tools. Like a 13 year old girl, we wanted to grow up too fast and took too many short cuts. Like Rome, we've prematurly hit a peak in our development. Like Rome, we too will fall. But the worse thing about this is, we are all going to pay.

When I was younger (like early 20's or something), I thought it would be awesome to have a Bibbi Jr. bouncing on my knee while little Malcolm and Frederick played ball in the field behind the farm. Today I questioned my right to continue the Bibbi genes. What would be the point?

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. ---Harriet Beecher Stowe

State of the Union---the saga continues

Representatives of The Kingdom that Nobody Has Ever Heard of,

I do apologize for not regularly being your voice in the muck that is American cyberspace. All too frequently, work, the government, and the pursuit of a good lay delay a sister from getting in touch with the people. I hope in the coming weeks to give the people what they want. You will be pleased to hear I plan to add a "Reviews for the Cranky" section. Mall PO PO INC. will offer more contests in the coming months (again the people cheer).

So, relax. "...the truth is i never left you...whatever or something"!