State of the Union---The Princess Blesses the New Year

I'm listening to Paul McCartney's "Maybe I'm Amazed" at the moment and I'm drawn back to a simpler time---a time of great cartoons and weird songs on VH1 (pre-mtv take over). My welcoming into a period of life that would forever be uncertain, unclear. The safety of childhood had passed and I would have to suffer all the insecurities that came with being an adult.

It's New Year's Eve 2004. All the bullshit that went down this past year can be forgotten and we can start 2005 with a clean slate. Sure, it's possible that 2005 will suck, as well. Afterall, Bush is still president. He continues to kill brown people. But what if part of living with the adult unknown is having hope that things will be different?

So, farewell Peanut M&M's pushers of 2004. I hope the New year will bring you early retirement from your subway riches.

Farewell, talk of moving to a new country. Bush won the election but will he win the war against the free people of the blue states? No one knows. No one knows.

Farewell, bad music of 2004. I think Ashley Simpson might want to reconsider her career tonight.

Farewell, commercial success of reality TV. Bloodsuckers airs next summer and the golden age of TV writing will begin anew. Cartoon Network will be airing Boondocks the cartoon this summer, as well.

Farewell, people of S. Asia that we lost this week. There is no telling how much of an impact this will have on the world. All we know is all of the people will be missed by someone somewhere and that's just heartbreaking.

To the rest of you, hold your people close to you this evening and hope for a better 2005.

Top Five Songs in My head today

1. Baby It's Cold Outside

Wonderful ditty sung by Ray Charles and Betty Carter. This song became known to our generation thanks to TV sitcom "A Different World". Dwayne Wayne and Whitley lipsync this tune in one of the sweetest married couple scenes on television. As I sit in front of my computer, I can't help but wonder if my band will ever cover the song (the band that I will one day be part of).

2. Uhh Ahh

Yeah, that's right. You all remember this tune from the newbies from Philly. To all the Boyz II Men haters in the crowd, I've seen your cd collections. You own CooleyHighHarmony and Jagged Little Pill and refuse to sell them for ciagarettes. I was thinking of this song walking home from the L train. Yup, add Get Laid to my "To Do" list.

3. Who Wants To Live Forever

Who can forget this memorable number from Queen's "It's A Kind of Magic"? I mean, hello! I wanted to BE the Highlander. Yeah, two things put this song in my head. One, I just recently found out that I share a birthday with Brain May, the coolest guitarist in my favorite band in the whole world. Yeah, Queen rocks my world. Two, I had this cool daydream today where Nancy and I were fighting in front of her big glass office window and I cut her head off. Then when the Quickening happened, electricity struck Emily as she was passing by. Yeah, it ruled.

4. Gandhi

Whenever life gets too hectic, I think of this track off Patti Smith's latest album. I get worked up about fixing the world and forget about all the little details that get me down. Incidently, i still don't have a date for the New Year's Eve show. :(

5. Whoever You Are

Love the Geggy Tah folks! Sacred Cow is not only the coolest title for an album but its helluh fun listening. So, this morning I was on my way to work with my new roomate (who I won't name because there are spies everywhere) and I felt so calm. It reminded me of the old days when I would hang out with my high school friends and we did dumb things but we felt safe because we had each other. Yeah, my new roomie makes me feel safe.

Yeah, those were the top 5 songs in my head today.

Honorable Mentions:
Beautiful People
Sister Christian
Cream
Sandford and Son theme (given, because it's always in my head)

-phile or -phil -philus, from Greek -philos, beloved, dear, from philos, beloved, loving.]

I have decided to start a new magazine called Phile. Clever, right? You can submit all sorts of wonderful things you have written, drawn, etc... to philemagazine@hotmail.com. You have all of Feb. to submit. I would like issue one out by spring.

Perfect Recipe for Damp Weather

Cheeserific Chicken Chili
What You Need:
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 onions, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
4 cooked, boneless chicken breast pieces
3 (14.5 oz.) cans chicken broth
2 (4 oz.) cans canned green chile peppers, chopped
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons oregano
1 1/2 tablespoons cayenne pepper
5 (14.5 oz.) cans great northern beans, undrained
1 cup shredded Extra Sharp cheese

What You Need to Do:
1. Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onions and garlic and sauté for 10 minutes, or until onions are tender. Add the chicken, chicken broth, green chile peppers, cumin, oregano and cayenne pepper and bring to a boil.
2. Reduce heat to low and add the beans. Simmer for 20 to 30 minutes, or until heated thoroughly. Pour into individual bowls and top with the cheese.

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

Last night my assistant Joe and I went to see Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. We felt were the last of the cool people to not have an opinion on the film. Despite urgings from everyone we know, we were virgins to this movie for too long. We went, we saw, and laughed our asses off! Here's the official word from your High Princess of FUNK:


1. If you are from New Jersey, Pennsylvania, or Ohio and in your young adult years GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

2. If you love Cheech and Chong movies but can't understand some of the humor due to the time period GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

3. If you avoid seeing comedies that star minorites because the jokes are self deprecating and make you want to kill the first White person you see GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

4. If you are under the influence of a controlled substance for the love of Reese's Pieces, man GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

5. If life is hard and you want, no, need to laugh for 88 minutes GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

6. If you have had sex with a male prostitute who has had sex with a prostitute from Haiti prior to 1977 GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

Be warned however, immediately following this movie Joe and I hopped a train to Brooklyn to munch on some White Castle!

'Ain't That America

Folks,

I never really want this place to be a written account of my daily happenings but I must share an experience I had today.

I have been in and out of action this week (the RNC, that is) due the the incredible amount of Strand Union participation in the Anti-Republican battles. As a manager, I pick up the slack where needed (This a good cause. I'm so proud of those guys). I was startled to learn my image was shown on several news broadcasts the evening prior (especially since it was coincidence that I was near some heavy activity). Regardless, I took my break and headed to the square. For lunch hour, Union Square was so quiet it almost hurt and spread across the stairs were combat boots and name cards for fallen troops in the current war against Iraq. It was a moment that dries the saliva in the mouth and forces your hand to the head. For reasons that I will explain later, the tears begain to flow. I grabbed my lunch and found an empty space behind a statue to get my shit together.

I couldn't make myself calm down and it freaked me out that I lost control. Afterall, I am a sensitive person ( I cry everytime I watch Gone With the Wind). I've been working a little too hard (Its cool, man. Nothing I haven't been through before). Military involvement? Well, yeah. Like most of us, many of my closest peeps and family are either in Iraq, have a child in Iraq, or are on their way to Iraq. This reality we've dealt with and deal with together as a nation ran by people that aren't mking these sacrifices. But we deal, together.

Then, it hit me. The emptiness I felt this afternoon can only be realization that this---this horror--- is going to get worse. A deep seated intuitiveness that screams of future pain. I'm not just talking about the Bush Family massacre but the peak of all the shit we've put on the back burner since this country's conception. From the one-armed beggar on the L-Train to the red-necked Republican delegate asshole that told me he could buy and sell my ideals in his sleep, we are all going to pay for all the little mistakes we've made on the way. History has proven that all civilizations adhere to a timeline. America, the big bad land of freedom and democracy is no different than any other empire that learned to write and use tools. Like a 13 year old girl, we wanted to grow up too fast and took too many short cuts. Like Rome, we've prematurly hit a peak in our development. Like Rome, we too will fall. But the worse thing about this is, we are all going to pay.

When I was younger (like early 20's or something), I thought it would be awesome to have a Bibbi Jr. bouncing on my knee while little Malcolm and Frederick played ball in the field behind the farm. Today I questioned my right to continue the Bibbi genes. What would be the point?

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. ---Harriet Beecher Stowe

State of the Union---the saga continues

Representatives of The Kingdom that Nobody Has Ever Heard of,

I do apologize for not regularly being your voice in the muck that is American cyberspace. All too frequently, work, the government, and the pursuit of a good lay delay a sister from getting in touch with the people. I hope in the coming weeks to give the people what they want. You will be pleased to hear I plan to add a "Reviews for the Cranky" section. Mall PO PO INC. will offer more contests in the coming months (again the people cheer).

So, relax. "...the truth is i never left you...whatever or something"!

The Tick (live action)

I watched all nine episodes of The Tick today. For the love of Puddy, man, watch them they are oh so funny.

Black Flags Afloat Once More

In my latest  news check on Thailand (I have a friend there now and I like to make myself worry), I discovered that pirates are taking over waters surrounding that region.  Other reports are coming in from Nigeria and the Philippines about our peg-legged bandits.  Perhaps swashbuckling will return to the high seas and the world will once again be filled with true adventure.  Or maybe everyone thought Johnny Depp looked extra manly in eyeliner...

Viva Las Vegas?

One of my favorite chick rockers was booed of a Las Vegas stage this week for giving praise to Michael Moore's "F9/11".  Linda Ronstadt called Moore a "great American patriot" and "someone who is spreading the truth" during a performance at the Aladdin venue on Saturday.  The drunks in the casino and the owner flipped out.  She was escrted off the premises. 
 
Michael Moore's response to the inccident was something I've been waiting for him to say since I saw the film.  "Invite her back and I'll join her in singing America the Beautiful on your stage," he said.
"Then I will show Fahrenheit 9/11 free of charge to all your guests and anyone else in Las Vegas who wants to see it."  Yeah!  Go get 'em, Mikey!

Now he's pushing it!

I hope you all read the papers today.  Our fearless leader, George W. Bush, is now implying our old pals Iran might have been involved in the Sept. 11th attacks.   
 
Here's the quote from bbcnews:
Bush said Iran, which he branded part of an "axis of evil" along with Iraq and North Korea, was "harboring al Qaeda leadership." But Bush said the case was not closed. "We will continue to look and see if the Iranians were involved... As to direct connections with Sept. 11, we're digging into the facts to determine if there was one," he said.
 
 If this man wins the election...well, lets just make sure he doesn't.  

I'm not sure what i'm going to do with this yet...

I ran across this old piece last night and I was wondering if you guys had any comments.



Meet me on 7th

I can see you all the way down the block. When you reach the toy store you finally see me, too. You smile and tilt your head (I love how you mimic the dog). Shoulders relaxing now, you stop and let me come to you.

I love the way you watch me.

A few seconds later, I’m in your arms and you’re bending to meet my face. I want you to hug me harder, but I know you will not. You think I’m fragile. You think we’re all fragile. I reach up and put my hand on your neck and pull you in. I am stronger than you. Our faces meet and now we’re ready.

The city swirls around us. People applaud while others jeer and I just can’t stop the burning in my cheeks. Our kisses erase hours of work and doubt and loneliness. I can’t help but think, as my tongue meets yours, that this is why all these people are in this wretched city. They’ve come to see us become lovers on their block.

I can see you all the way down the block. When you reach the toy store you finally see me, too. You smile and tilt your head (I love how you mimic the dog). Shoulders relaxing now, you stop and let me come to you.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

I give you a high five and pretend I’m not thinking how nice it would be if we all lived in my head.

KPF

Your Princess would like to take the opportunity to say that in 2 years nothing has been more fun in NYC than KPF. The mixture of karoke and poetry is so fraking cool. Yours truly got to sing "Wanted Dead or Alive". And for my first time on stage, I think i did pretty well. Kudos to Daniel Nester for being the sweetest host ever. If you kids ever see an ad for KPF in the future, please go. You will not regret it.

Ahhh, these new tricks...

Feel free to comment away people. Whole Lot O Puddin' is open to the public!

Sountrack to Freedom

I watched a great documentary the other day about the abolition of Apartheid. It concentrated on the power of song. I was trying to come up with some new music to lead our revolution this year. So far, all I could come up with is Patti Smith's "Ghandi" which still makes my body tingle. Got any good ideas?

Fahrenheit 9/11

Hey kiddies,

The new Michael Moore joint is set to drop on June 25th in the states. I think its rather appropriate to get the masses nice and wound up before the RNC. A thought, the last election proved theres very little we can do to stop evil from taking over the country. What new plans are being hatched to ensure a Republican victory?

Super Contest No. 1

Ever wonder what it would take to spend an entire day with a princess? Here's your chance!

From May 29th (that's right now!) until June 6th (a week from now), Whole Lot O' Puddin' is sponsoring a contest that can win you a date with Princess Bibbi! No lie, homie. You can hang out with the Princess for an entire day! Here's how:

In Haiku form, tell us what you would do to help the Princess change the world. Yep, that's it. That's all you have to do. No credit card charges, jousting, or first born promises. The winner will be personally selected by the High Priestess of Krack.

Get out your quills children! Submit your haiku as a comment to this post and cross your fingers.

Check this out

Go out right now and rent "Uncle Saddam".

Bush Haiku No. 1

Do you have blacks, too?
We order out of chaos.
What did he just say?

The Princess has been given a voice

Well, children of the corn, your faithful princess has been given a space to post her rants, blessings, and FYI spots. This should be fun.